My Life

My Wife Destroyed Our Dryer

*Disclaimer: I love my wife dearly. She is my rock, soulmate and the love of my life. With that being said, here we go.

My dear wife is easily the most hardheaded person I’ve ever known, and this at times has led to some of the most frustrating times of my life. For instance, she has NEVER been wrong about anything we’ve ever argued about. Seems reasonable, right? That’s an incredible feet for being together for 13 years – she should get a trophy or something.

So one of the things we have argued about more times that I can recall is about doing the laundry. One of my pet peeves is when something I’ve left in my pockets gets washed, and put into the dryer. Over the years countless things have been lost from this.

In my opinion, it’s common sense. Whomever puts the clothes into the washing machine should check all pockets for anything that could be ruined, or do damage to the machine. My wife argues that the pockets should be checked BEFORE they ever reach the dirty cloths pile (yes, we have a pile, not a hamper, I mean we have a hamper, but it hardly gets used) by whoever wore the garment with the pockets. This doesn’t make sense to me in a number of ways. What is the ids put something, lets say a crayon in one of their pockets and it gets washed and dried in the laundry and ruins some clothes? Do you really think a 4 year old will check their pockets when they randomly change clothes? Good luck with that. What is I have been working all day outside repairing a deck, gate or a fence and I leave screws in my pockets when I’ve worked all day and want nothing more to jump into the shower to clean off? The bottom line here is, sometimes we forget, or accidentally leave something in one of our pockets by ACCIDENT. So checking pockets before washing the clothes acts as a last defense mechanism that should protect whats in the pockets as well as the machines.

A couple of weeks ago before we left for vacation, our dryer started making this really high pitched screeching sound combined with this jagged rumbling sound that was shaking the dryer across the laundry room floor. Before I knew what happened I heard a huge pop and the machine just went nuts bouncing all over the place. I quickly turned it off, but couldn’t get a chance to look into the problem until we returned from vacation.

Fast forward to the day after we return to vacation.

I start tearing the dryer apart, piece by piece trying to determine the problem. After I disconnected the dryer vent from the dryer, this is what I found INSIDE the dryer vent:

screws

Okay, this is not good. Apparently all of these screws and buttons were spun through the mechanics of the dryer and it damaged some vital party of it. So I dug deeper and removed the back panel of the dryer, and what did I find? The dryer’s fan had been damaged and one of the blades had totally broken off.

fan

Obviously the screws, buttons and whatever else that was left in pockets got stuck inside and destroyed the fan, causing the fans blade to get lodged inside and that was what was causing the loud noises and serious vibrations that sounded like a locomotive going through the laundry room.

This could have easily been avoided, by just simply checking the pockets. Now I have to order dryer parts and hope that no other damage was done, so because of my wife’s stubbornness and hard-headiness, we might have to buy a brand new dryer, and this one isn’t even a year old.

dryer

So I sat down with her last night and discussed it, and she STILL insists it’s not the person who’s doing the laundry’s responsibility, but the person who takes off their clothes!

I’m just not sure where to go from here. Maybe I should put up a clothesline like we had when we were kids – maybe after hanging the clothes for a few weeks she’ll conform then. But probably not because like I said before, she’s the most hardheaded person I’ve ever known.

Ah, just one of the many joys of a healthy and happy marriage.

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33 comments
Gretchen Schulze Carnoske
Gretchen Schulze Carnoske

I was taught that the Washer checks pockets and gets to keep what is found (money, ipods, etc...)

Aleah Taylor
Aleah Taylor

This is a tough one, I think it's more of a fair ask to check pockets individually before clothes go into the dirty wash basket because then everyone is responsible for themselves (except children, they never remember) BUT I think everyone is guilty of leaving stuff accidentally in their pockets. My solution is to not check everyones pockets, purely because it's a pain, but a shake clothes and if I detect a jingle, feel odd weight or spot a bulging pocket that could be concealing a tissue, then I check that pocket.

Mary Frances Ka'iulani Burgess
Mary Frances Ka'iulani Burgess

Eh it comes down to, if you know she doesn't check then it doesn't matter on policy. Either you take over the laundry or you empty your pockets.

Stacey Lee Hayes
Stacey Lee Hayes

I always check the pockets before putting laundry in machine/dryer. One day I found $80 in hubbys pants, if he had emptied his pockets he would have had it but he didnt so it was mine ;)

Serina Nations
Serina Nations

I have 3 kids. I completely agree with you 'Daddy F' .. it's crazy not to check pockets when loading the washer. From 5-35 we ALL do it at sometime or another. I check pockets JUST to keep this from happening, or melted crayon to end up on everything else. Not checking pockets is equal to not giving a crap enough to separate whites & colors. What happens when you don't pay attention and throw in something colored with your whites..? Basic laundry skills 101 folks. Takes 2 seconds per article to shake while tossing 'em in.

Harriet Girdley
Harriet Girdley

For your dryer story: We had a cat that would catch gophers (or snakes) and leave the un-eaten parts by the kitchen door. My brother (4 or 5 at the time) would stash these treasures into the pockets of his jeans. After the first time, my mother would no longer stick her hands into his pockets, but rather turn them out over the toilet ... not always to a good end! :-)

Jerilynn Reiman
Jerilynn Reiman

As the one the does the laundry in my household I DO check pockets before anything that has pockets goes into the washer. Yes it would be nice if pockets were emptied before they went into the washer but lets get real people... most of the time they don't. I'm with you on this Daddy Fishkins!

Normajean Witt
Normajean Witt

Its YOUR pockets. U clean them out. I agree with her. I find it hard to believe u couldnt feel those huge nails.

Amanda Abad
Amanda Abad

I actually check at the hamper and washer haha... I guess it's my own paranoia. Plus, I don't own the washer and dryer so I'd rather keep them in as best condition as possible. Anyway, a friend of mine has been trying to get her husband and kids to check pockets of clothes before throwing them in their dirty clothes piles. She does, however, also check the pockets before throwing clothes into the washer, and every time, she finds stuff in their pockets - cash, hair ties, pens, lip gloss.. you name it. So she made a rule: anything she finds in pockets is hers - the classic "finders-keeprs" rule. Husband loses cash, kids lose their stuff, and she has a washer and dryer (and clothes) in good condition, and sometimes extra money haha.. Something like this could be a win-win for both of you. Just figured I'd throw that out there for you... just a story to share. Good luck with the dryer!

Margaret King
Margaret King

My husband was furious with me when I washed his wallet. I told him, just as my Mama would tell me, " You are big enough, old enough and ugly enough to check your own pockets."

Jane Shaw
Jane Shaw

haha you hit a hot button issue! sorry, with your wife here. you check for the kids but any grown up should check their own before they take off their clothes. its just a habit. of course the laundry person can do double duty and double ck but that's extra

Rachel Robinson Freeman
Rachel Robinson Freeman

I used to be like your wife. Too busy to check pockets and didn't really have time to obsess over whether or not there is something in there that will get ruined. However, I like nice clean laundry and sometimes my children and fiancée will leave crayons, Chapstick, and paper in their pockets that causes my clothes to get ruined. So in the interest of self-clothes preservation I now check pockets. But I dont feel like it's my responsibility as the laundress to do so.

Laurie Kliemann
Laurie Kliemann

In our house each person is responsible for checking their own pockets before they put their clothes in the hamper/basket. The person doing the laundry re-checks the pockets of the kids laundry because they are not always great at it even though they are teenagers. We have washed electronics and gum before :( We also have a toilet seat rule that EVERYONE puts the seat and lid down EVERY TIME so that we don't have to have an argument over guys vs girls having to change something. Everyone has to at least lift the lid when they go in. Seat up/seat down problem solved!

Paige Kittles
Paige Kittles

I haven't been following for very long but if I understand correctly, aren't you a stay at home dad? I don't mean to offend but I don't understand why she is doing laundry in the first place. I'm currently a stay at home mom and I handle the house duties and children on my own but when I go back to work my husband and I share the duties (with the only exception being that the poor guy doesn't know how to fry an egg... or even boil noodles, for that matter). As far as your wife goes, my take is that you should pick your battles wisely in order to maintain a long and happy marriage. This is not a fight worth having. Get into a good habit of checking your own pockets. Team efforts work great to make life easier on her. Apologize and maybe do something extra special to make up for blasting her on your blog :-D

Laura Martin
Laura Martin

Check your own effing pockets. End of story. And buy her flowers for blaming her. :)

Karissa Parmessar
Karissa Parmessar

If your the stay at home dad aren't you doing the laundry? I mean that is something that would be included in being the stay at home parents. Also she is right. Your old enough to check them on your own. I mean you leave your wallet in your pockets right? So you take that out you so why not take it all out. Also everything in the dryer was most likely from you. So because of lack of taking your items out of your pants your item broke the dryer =)

Kris Cuellar
Kris Cuellar

This is sooooo interesting! Grown people getting jacked up about someone else's pocket-checking habits! I can say that I do most of the laundry and I never check and things have been ruined and I have bitched at my husband. I can honestly say that he never bitches back and only when I read your entry did I see the other perspective. Yeah its a pain in the ass to check everything but should only add a few extra seconds and if it will save my favorite shirt it does seem worth it, cuz here's what, I'm human and I have forgotten a chapstick or two in my time. So...the goal is to check before you remove but double-check at the washer. I may even make a few bucks!

Christine Albano Brazeel
Christine Albano Brazeel

Sorry, Dude. Gotta side with the wife on this one. I'll check my little kids' pockets, but somewhere around the age of 10 and up, they're on their own. That goes for socks, too. Big kids and adults put a dime in a jar for every sock left inside out (I'm a big contributor to this fund. When I get done with my workout, I just rip my clothes off and get in the shower soon as I can. I'm notorious for leaving my socks inside out). Then we use that money to get ice cream cones on a summer night or a rainy-day Redbox rental. It takes about five to ten seconds for my husband to remove all the crap he has to bring to work with him (flashlight, pocket knife, keys, pens, phone, Bluetooth, wallet...). Five seconds (1 pizza box, 2 pizza box...) And boom, he's done. But for me to go through EVERYONE'S pockets of every pant, short, and/or shirt takes obnoxiously longer. For every load. It really is your responsibility.

Lori England
Lori England

Got to take the wife's side on this one :)

Nikki Shepperson
Nikki Shepperson

I check pockets in the laundry room and I still end up washing things! (Car keys, swipe passes, bank cards..) Husband usually checks his pockets before tossing his laundry in the hampers but people forget these things. It sucks that your dryer is busted :( I personally would more than likely, react the same way your wife did (seeing as I am the most hard headed person my husband has ever met) but I would say it was a 50/50 split on the matter...you didn't check the pockets, she didn't check the pockets, no one checked the pockets, no one is totally blame I suppose (makes things a wee bit easier too...wife wise anyways) :) Good luck!

Lori Claxton Vintilescu
Lori Claxton Vintilescu

Dude - you just compared yourself to a 4 year old. And your excuse is that you worked hard all day and are tired and forgot. Well what do you think is going on while someone does the job of washing your clothes? You think maybe she's tired and doesn't want to add a step in the never ending cycle of doing the laundry? Call her hard headed and stubborn, but don't be offended if you are called lazy and thoughtless.

Kimberly Dawn Matte
Kimberly Dawn Matte

Shouldn't have to check another grown adults pockets. As for the kids, sure.. But come on! Saying you will hang a clothes line to try to teach her seems a bit disrespectful!

Molley AmotherLife Mills
Molley AmotherLife Mills

Nope, totally the wearer's responsibility. We washer women will not be held responsible for the washed iphones, ipods, wallets, business cards and screws. NOPE..... (hangs head) I'll show myself out.

Casie Blevins
Casie Blevins

I think this has more to do with deflecting blame. She can't remember to check the pockets, cant make it a priority--whatever-- and ultimately can't deal with the responsibility for that so it's all EVERYONE ELSE'S fault. Classic deflection....

Georgia Brown
Georgia Brown

Sorry to say, your wife didn't break it, you did. Anyone over the age of about 7 should be able to check their pockets before throwing their dirty laundry in the hamper. I don't check pockets (unless I hear a rattle), and I don't turn clothes right-side out. I shouldn't have to.

Gena Wilson
Gena Wilson

I do the Laundry and if I the wife remembers to check her own pockets before throwing things in the wash....then I should say anyone over the age of 6 can as well. If you have pockets get a old ash try and put it near where you most change your clothes put the contents of your pockets in that ashtray. No excuses, it takes more time for one person to check all pockets than it wld take the individual wearing the item to check & empty their pockets. If you the male were asked to fix let's say a light fixture in a closet and the person didn't clean things up for you so you could attend to said fixture, instead you had to waste 30 min. Clearing a pathway to get to the light fixture you wouldn't be happy!! #SheIsRight!!!!

Celene Wright
Celene Wright

I agree with your wife and you are just herd headed for leaving the checking of your pockets up to her. Now if she checked your pockets checking to see if you were having an affair or got any numbers she would be wrong. This only tells me that your wife trusts you...and part of that trust is thinking you are grown enough to remove things from your pockets that do not belong. I bet she keeps the money you leave though. She is not that hard headed...lol!

Brandon Devine
Brandon Devine

I agree with you fishkins, and heres why. Im an electrician. Screws staples drill bits and other electrical related items end up in my pockets. My wife has put countless holes in everuones clothes due to not checking pockets. She even washed one of my paychecks. Yes I went an entire week broke because someone couldnt check pockets. You want to know the funny part? My wife has washed several things from her own pockets. It is the person doing the laundry who is responsible because they were the last person to deal with the clothes. When I do laundry, I check pockets because my mom even taught me this simple rule. Laundry isnt hard to do, check the damn pockets

Lu Lenz
Lu Lenz

learn how to do the wash yourself - my husband helps with the laundry all the time. You are never to old to learn. Then you have control and you can always be right. It's a man thing I am sure.

Rachel Duffy
Rachel Duffy

I agree with your wife. Check clothes and stick them in the pile then. 9 times out of 10 small man won't go rooting through the dirty clothes

Gwen A Sullivan Miller
Gwen A Sullivan Miller

I never check pockets anymore, I would think at 50 years old my husband can check his own pockets. I do check the kids pockets though, usually for change they find around the house. I've been right in every argument for the last 26 1/2 years, and the sooner my husband realizes this our marriage will improve by leaps and bounds:)

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