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Stop Bullying

stop-bullying

 

Recently on Facebook someone post this picture and I took offense:

bullying

This lead to a debate of sorts, with me mostly getting angry and going off on the person, but it hit close to home, and besides with all the good bullying campaigns do and the statistics of how many children commit suicide or do other violent things because of bullying, I thought it was pretty ignorant.

This was one of his best arguments:

bullying-comment

After a few more insults I threw at him, yes, I let him get under my skin and I shouldn’t have; he responded with this gem:

bullying-comment-2

I’m assuming because I’m a Stay At Home Dad, he thinks I’m weak as is my position on the issue at hand – just more of his ignorance shining through.

When I was in elementary school I was severely bullied, to the point when I fantasized about the violent things I wanted to do to them. I had one teacher who allowed this to go on even. It made going to school dreadful. Standing up for myself really wasn’t an option, even though I was too scared to do so because I was always bullied in groups, never one on one. I’m not sure why I was bullied, but I was, and all through middle school I was miserable. Going to the principal, teachers or my parents just wasn’t an option, in fact there was no awareness so teachers turned a blind eye, and most parents dealt with bullying the same way, they either minimized it, or gave the all important “stand up for yourself” speech. I do agree one should stand up to his or her bullies, let them know right off that you won’t tolerate it – but some kids are just too scared, feel like they have no chance of succeeding and knowing the backlash would be even greater than the actual bullying or simply can’t because the bullying comes from a group. Now as a grown man I know that they bullied in groups because they were cowards, but at the time I was scared to death.

I remember one time at a school dance, I was maybe 10, a kid came running through the crowd and sucker punched me right in the stomach and I crumbled like a ton of bricks. Another time at a lunch table someone spit on my arm. Paper was thrown at my head in class, I was pushed around in the hall wall, and this went on and on for years. Many kids go through these kinds of things and it’s not right or fair for them to be subjected to these types of abuse.

If these campaigns were around when I was a kid maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad. I’m not naive, I know bullying will never fully go away, however with these types of campaigns in place it bring more awareness to the issue and starts creating a better culture when it comes to bullying. Maybe more teachers will pay attention, maybe other kids will start sticking up for those who are being bullied, maybe kids who are being bullied won’t feel as though they have nowhere to turn any longer? If these campaigns help just 1 kid, isn’t it worth it in the long run? I was bullied most of my childhood and I’m not sure how much the anti-bullying campaign would have helped, but I would have felt better knowing they were in place, and thankfully many kids today can breathe a bit easier knowing that they have this type of support.

#StopBullying #BulliesSuck #NoMoreBullying

 

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5 comments
GillianStover
GillianStover

Stewart is brain damaged...must be the bullying...

jlaughlin982
jlaughlin982

I'm betting he was bullied because his name is Stewart.

sonoyuu
sonoyuu

Someone once said "School is like prison, keep your head down and do your time". Schools were once the basis of creating a strong foundation for the future of a society. Now they are places with metal detectors and police who try to stop kids from killing each other. These are not the "Strong" people that we want to determine our future. Most children can handle a classic school environment, but those who get bullied rarely have the ability to cope. Children are incredibly observant, and they have been conditioned to conform with the "rules". Children who don't conform are bullied.

On one hand, we do need to teach our children to be confident, and willing to take a stand against their tormentors. On the other hand we have to realize these are children who lack an adult perspective on how to responsibly deal with conflict. We also need to consider that sometimes, whether it is right or not, our children bring bullying upon themselves through their behavior, even if they have no control over that behavior. In those cases we have a responsibility as parents to remove the child from those circumstances and be prepared to educate them at home.

Autistic children are excellent examples. They have little or no control over how they react to their environment, and it is very obvious right away that they do not "fit in". The classic class room is not capable of making them "fit in". Either we have to be willing to pay A LOT more taxes (or stop being global police) so we can afford more educators with a better student/teacher ratio, or we have to accept that schools lack the resources to manage special needs kids, which includes children who are being bullied. Ultimately, it is not the schools, but us as parents who are responsible for raising that child to live in society

It is great to have campaigns to reduce bullying, and training for educators so they can identify it, but a significant lack of resources means we are only putting shot glasses of water onto a forest fire. "Ending" bullying is a lot more than parent and teacher accountability. It requires a fundamental shift in priorities from all of us as a society. Which is more important to us as a people; armies and nuclear weapons, or a guiding hand by someone with the resources to make a difference? How are we to set a non violent example for our youth, when we teach them foreign and domestic policy is managed through the barrel of a gun? How can we teach them to make a stand, when many "peaceful" protests lead to burning, looting, and death?

When we look at the eyes of our children, we must always remember they mirror their society, and so do their actions. We mold bullies as surely as we do leaders and scientists.

LRConsiderer
LRConsiderer

I think what 2Thelmp said below, is absolutely right - bullying is child abuse, perpetrated by other children. But here's the rub - it's ALLOWED by teachers. Made possible by adults. And some of them even protect the abusers or make excuses for them.


The systems suck. The people in them can suck. And bullying NEEDS these campaigns, because there are too many kids who live in fear and misery.

2TheImp
2TheImp

I went through much of the same, and worse. School was a freaking nightmare. Teachers would complain about how smart I was, yet was routinely flunking. Well gee, beat up at home, beat up at school, there was no safe place, period.


When my eldest daughter, Diva started going through the same thing, I did all the 'right' things. Talked to the school, the teacher, blah blah blah. Nothing changed. in fact, the teacher was a HUGE part of the problem. Comments from her ranged from, "He's a nice boy. He wouldn't do that." when my dd went to her about another kid stealing her snack, to telling my husband at a parent/student/teacher conference, "She doesn't think rules apply to her. My niece was the same way. My niece is now 16, addicted to meth, and a highschool drop out, and 'Diva' is going to be the exact same."


My dd was in grade THREE at the time.


We started homeschooling. That was over 7 yrs ago, and 2 more kids have joined the homeschooling ranks, w/out stepping foot in public school.


Is homeschooling the right choice? For us, yes, it seems to be, although neither Wolf nor I ever planned to homeschool. All we knew is that our daughter, in grade three, was becoming depressed, anxious, and it was like watching her die a little at a time. Having been bullied ourselves, we just couldn't send her back for more, and nobody who was SUPPOSED to do anything about it did.


Bullying doesn't build strength. It destroys souls. I suspect those that babble about how it builds character either haven't had a run of bullying to the degree that many children do, or were bullies themselves. Nobody announces child abuse is character building, and every child should endure it so that they can become stronger.


Bullying is just more child abuse...just generally done by fellow children.

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