My Life

calvin-hobbes-new-years-resolutions

A new year is upon us, I can’t wrap my head around the fact that it’s going to be 2015. Yeah. I graduated High school in 1995 – 20 years ago. I’ve been married since 2004 – be together with the warden my wife since January of 2001 – and the years are flying by at an alarming rate. I have three kids. Three. In twenty years my life has blossomed into a really cool sitcom and I couldn’t be happier. However in any happy life there are always room for improvements. No one, or any family or relationship is perfect, they all need work and sometimes we have to look inside ourselves to see what we can improve on. I’ve never made a New Years resolution before, no particular reason for it, but this year I’m going to try and work on a few things personally with my very own New Years resolution. I have decided to make a list of things that I should try and improve on:

To be a better husband
To be a better father
To be a better lover (hahaha who am I kidding? I’m the best!)
To be more acceptable of others
To learn to forgive and let go
To learn how to be more patient with others
To learn how to brush/comb/take care of my daughter’s hair
To eat less cookies
To use less curse words (gonna be hard with 3 kids though)
To not eat doughnuts that my wife buys for parties and tells me not to eat
To go to church more
To get more involved in my kids hobbies and activities
To eat healthier
To be less lazy
Play more of my son’s games
To cover the pool in the winter (it’s currently green)
To try and do stuff my wife asks me to do around the house within the first month of her asking
To do more laundry

and yada, yada, yada. I now see why I have never made a New Year’s resolution before. It’s too much work. I think I’ll just narrow it down to one thing: To be less lazy. That pretty much covers it all, sure it’s kind of cheating, but I only have one life and who wants to waste it doing stuff that I don’t want to do? Hey, I’m just being honest.

But in all seriousness though I’m going to take the new year to make a better me and I suggest you all do the same.

See ya next year. I’m out.

Bi-Polar Rants

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Recently on a Facebook post somewhere recently some mother was trying to get a job for her 14 year old to babysit some kids for his first job and to teach him responsibility;ty and how money and budgeting works. A small peek for a kid heading into adulthood. Personally I wouldn’t let a 14 year old watch my children, but this family lives locally and has many ties in the local community, but to each his own, that’s just my personal preference. I am highly impressed that this kid is so motivated at a young age when he could just be laying around playing video games. So of course like most threads on social media, the trolls started coming out of the woodwork (by the way I hate that phrase, why I use it I have no idea). What surprised me most though was the biggest trolls were grown men degrading a this parent for allowing their child to do a job that should only be done by women. Yes, some men still think this way, and sadly some always will. In fact he went so far as to bash all men who do things like laundry, cooking, cleaning and those of us that are stay at home dads. He was going on about how men of these statuses were not real men and not providing properly for their family. Somewhere along the thread one guy stood up for another, the one with the most ignorant comments by saying it was his belief because he was as he put it, “old school”.

I took offense to everything these guys were saying, not only because I’m a stay at home dad, because I’m more open minded and progressive thinking and not living in a world of ignorant thinking and close-minded views. First off, if these type of people think that they are grandfathered in and because that’s how it was, and still should be, what else do they think is Old School and thus okay to participate in? Segregation? Sexism? Women’s rights? I have to believe that it’s possible that these things get passed along generation to generation and some of these things sadly, will never die out.

So back to these guys on Facebook. Don’t they realize that by males learning “women” things that it makes males more rounded and better all around adults? That a family is based on leaning on each other, supporting one another and growing together? At first I became angry and wanted to lash out at them, but as I calmed down, I felt sadness towards the families living with men with these types of views. Can these types of views one day be eradicated from society? Let’s hope so, but sadly a lot of this will be passed down from fathers to sons causing another division of society to live on.

Sorry for rambling on a bit here, I wanted to get some of this off my chest before I crashed for the night.

Funny Pics

Merry-Christmas-from-the-Johnsons-Jail-Card

Just like the old saying goes, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

Funny Pics

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This is a great solution if you live next to the Griswolds and can’t beat their Christmas light display. In fact this is much better than trying to one up your neighbors when it comes to Holiday decorating. This is simply genius.

Epic Fail

pease

They definitely get an A for effort and Clark Griswold would be proud, but unfortunately this is one hell of a Christmas FAIL.

Inappropriate Toys

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If possible you might want to avoid buying this toy for your child’s Christmas.

However if you insist, you might be able to find one here.

Pop Culture

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I heard recently on a local radio station that the powers to be are bringing back one of the most tastiest cereals of the 90’s, French Toast Crunch. Now, I’m definitely a fan of all the classic cereals, such classics as; Flintstones, Apple Jacks, Fruit Loops, Lucky Charms, Cinnamon toast crunch, pops and French Toast Crunch before they discontinued it. Why they did so I’m not really sure, because it was delicious. I still eat cereal from time to time, but I never use milk, I just eat it right out of the box caveman style, currently I’m enjoying Cinnamon Toast Crunch, the big brother of the soon to be resurrected classic; French Toast Crunch.

If you just can’t wait until they start filling the grocery store shelves in January, you can purchase some here.

Epic Fail

Christmas is only 13 days away and I wanted to share some of my most favorite all time Christmas fails.

Parenting Fail

tape-door

Ever been in a pinch and need a quick babysitter? This solution could work for you. Everyone should have a roll of duct tape in their home and if not go out and buy one right now, it has a million uses and using it as a babysitter is one!

Buy duct tape here.

 

My Life

germsarenotforsharing91258

 

Kids are nasty, filthy creatures that spread disease like rats in the dark sewers of New York City. They are constantly sick, which means everyone around them are constantly sick which creates an ever ending circle of coughing, runny noses, puke, and diaherra. It’s a war that can never be won. Sure we fight and win the occasional battles, but the war, we will never, ever win until kids start washing their damn hands and stop putting everything in their mouths.

I have three kids, and it seems like one of them is always sick, and then it spreads to the other kids, and then slowly but surely – it gets to me. I’m always the last, which is like a slap in the face because right when I think I’m in the clear, BOOM goes the dynamite and I catch whatever sickness these little rats are spreading. Before I had kids, I hardly ever got sick, but now with kids my life expectancy has dramatically been shortened, and at this rate I’ll be dead in my mid 40’s.

Dear Kids,

You all suck. Start washing your hands and stop shoving everything you find into your mouth. The only way you get a pass on this is if you are under 3 months old, after 3 months old you should know better.

Things you shouldn’t put in your mouths: Dirty socks, rocks, lizards, dirty diapers, dog toys, dog food, cat food, any kind of animal food, pet fur, pet poop, urinal cakes, kitty litter, or anything from your mothers top drawer of her night stand.

Things that should go into your mouth: Food, Water. That is all.

Sure its easy to just poop, pee and puke wherever you want, because you know that mommy or daddy will run over and clean it up, but its disgusting. The bathroom is the only appropriate place to do those things, not in the bed, the floor, the car, the pool or the kitchen floor. If nothing else, please try to make an effort to get to the bathroom, just sitting in your bed throwing up all over the place is not acceptable.

Start washing your hands. Oh, you say you can’t walk yet? So crawl. If you can’t crawl, ask your mommy or daddy to carry you to the sink. It’s not rocket science, just stop spreading germs. I’m sick of being sick. I’m sick right now. As I type this my nose is full of green gunk and I’m coughing, and you know why? Because some kid at one of my kid’s school put his mouth all over the water fountain as he took a drink, which spread all over every other kid that also took a drink that day. So just stop it already, wash your hands and poop, pee and puke in the bathroom, do that and things will be a bit less sickly.

Sincerely,

One sick dad who’s sick of being sick.

Parenting Fail

real-mom

I really have no idea what is going on here. Is it even possible that someone could be this stupid?

These are a few funny Thanksgiving themed funny pictures and fails that I stumbled across today. The kids one are awesome because they are so honest and cut right to the chase.

About Me


I'm a stay at home dad. I change A LOT of diapers. Even more so now that my 2 year old thinks it's funny to take off her diaper while running around the house naked screaming as loud as she possibly can: "NAKED BUTT!"

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