My Life

Kids Eat The Darndest Things

yesterday morning was especially rough. My 4 year old had been throwing up all night from a mysterious stomach bug that luckily no one else in the house got, even my wife who was thrown up on twice. I slept on the couch with my 2 year old daughter to keep away from the sickness because the last thing I needed was for me our my daughter to get sick. So my wife literally got no sleep and the little I managed greeted me with a migraine when I woke up, partly from sleeping on the couch on a rock hard throw pillow, and partly from lack of sleep. However none of that phased my 2 year old daughter who got up with enough energy to launch a rocket into outer space. So as I’m slugging along without any coffee, half asleep and with blurry vision, she demands “EAT!”. Yeah, when she wants food that’s what she yells and she assumes that I know what she’s talking about. So as I stand there with an open fridge she is yelling “EAT!” as I’m going through and pointing out everything in sight.

I point at yogurt: “NO, EAT!”
I point at eggs: “NO, EAT!”
I point at waffles: “NO, EAT!”
I point at pancakes: “NO, EAT!”
I point at Granola bars: “NO, EAT!”

Now I’m super frustrated and quite irritated, so I turn the tables a bit:

I point at pickles: “NO, EAT!”
I point at a stcik of butter: “NO, EAT!”

*now she’s getting pissed and I smile pleasantly pleased with myself.

I point at the bottle of ketchup: “Yeah!, Now Waffles”

Uh oh, she has turned the tables back on me. I’ve essentially painted myself in a corner. I quickly start backtracking, offering up any foods that to me sounds a whole lot better than waffles with ketchup, but no matter what I offer, she is holding form at ketchup and Waffles.

Now let me tell you, I’ve never gagged as much in my life as I did while pouring ketchup on top of a waffle and then cutting it up and then watching as she started eating it. In fact as I write this my eyes are watering and I’m gagging. However apparently it was so good, she demanded a second and I damn near lost it. There is just something special about smelling ketchup and freshly toasted waffles first thing in the morning.

I wish to god I had pictures of this, but basically I was just trying to get the hell out of the room and the sight of the horror I was witnessing before I blew chunks all over the kitchen. Needless to say – yesterday was a very rough morning.

However this wasn’t the only time she had insisted on eating ketchup on a breakfast item. A few weeks ago she demanded the delightful condiment on her pancakes.

pancakes-1

pancakes-2

My other 2 kids never ate stuff like this, as they’ve always been “normal” eaters per-say, but with my newest child I’m getting a whole new experience, one that almost got the best of me yesterday.

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