Comment of The Day: My Children Are Spolied Brats

I was featured over at the Sanfransico Globe yesterday and I was browsing the comments section and came across this gem. You can view the post and read the rest of the comments here. Also, I choose not to respond, because I’ve defended myself before and repeating myself gets very tiring.

From: Angel DeSantos

Seriously? Your kids are spoiled rotten brats and that is ALL your fault. Your day is like this because you have raised your chidden this way. Pancakes in bed at 3 years old while she “watches her shows”??? You ALLOW your children to get their way by screaming and crying and guess what, they will continue to scream and cry! Why? Because they get their way! You ALLOW your child to sit on your head and eat chicken… I am sure that your 18-month-old isn’t holding a gun to that same head while sitting on it eating chicken. It is very simple, well it may not be not because you have trained them to be waited on hand and foot, but if you had parented them it would be very simple to set rules into place. What time are you letting your children go to bed that if they get up at 7:30 they are exhausted drama queens?? 7:30 AM is plenty of time to sleep if they go to bed at a reasonable hour of 8:30 or 9:00… that 10.5 hours of sleep in addition to the two naps you allow them per day, you’re children should the most well rested children on the planet. Your day should with them should begin at 7:30 or 8:00 when we all get out of bed and MAKE the bed, get DRESSED, brush our teeth and eat breakfast at the kitchen table. From 8:30 – 8:40 we should be doing the breakfast dishes together. From 8:40 to 10:30 can be time for TV, if you want your children to watch that much television, otherwise this should be time that they spend playing, with a few toys at a time, that they put away before they get out another. While they are playing (or mindlessly sitting there watching a talking yellow sponge) YOU can multi task and start some laundry while you check your email for work… it’s not like we stand over kettles of boiling water with steel washing boards any more, there is a machine that does it for you… during this time you can also slip into your bed room, take your shower and make your own bed since I am assuming that you or your wife didn’t make it when you got up at 6:00… about 10:30ish your children should be hungry again, at that age they should be eating about every 2 hours… so make a small snack, again do it together, involve them instead of waiting on them like the chef/owner of “Cafe Daddy”… at 10:45 we finish up the snack, clean up the kitchen from snack making and move on to part 2 of the day… of course there will be diaper changes involved during this time etc. From 11:00 to 1:00 play time con ensue, again a few toys at a time putting them away before you bring out another. As they are playing you can get some additional items done for work as you stated you do during this time. At 1:00 Lunch time, at the table, again something they helped you to make (this teaches them cooking skills as well, you really can turn almost any “chore” into a learning experience that involves the children and gets them to use their mind and take ownership, they can be proud of eating what they cooked themselves for lunch, and they can tell mom all about it when she gets home!) from 1:30 – 2:30 NAP TIME this ensures that they are freshly rested just before the addition of their brother comes into the mix and their tempers and anxiety are in check. 2:30 head to the park/bus stop to pick up your son. 3:15 home and all three of them are helping to make/eat and clean up after the after school snack. 3:45 to 5:00 Your son is at the kitchen table finishing his home work, you and the girls are playing the clean up game (yes! you can make a game out of it! Play house one day where the three of you are planning on throwing a dinner party for a very special guest , The Queen [who will be home from work at 6:00] so you have to clean up the house and prepare the feast for her arrival) Now, this plan for the day goes off some assumptions… you will obviously have to clean the house from top to bottom to start off. Once this is done it is far easier to maintain… so start by cleaning the house and organizing everything, go forward from there by implementing a schedule and routine into your child’s lives (they will thank you later when they have excellent time management skills and they excel at school and work because they are punctual and organized) Getting up and getting dressed focuses them for the day, allowing them to lounge around in their PJs keeps them in the lazy “I’m still in my PJ’s” mode… I have 3 children myself and I am the stay at home mom. My house is clean and organized because I implement a few easy to follow rules like the one toy at a time rule, the we all eat we all clean rule, the no dishes in the sink rule, My children know that kicking and screaming gets them absolutely nothing and even when they are in the cranky over tired diva mode, I will walk away from them and into another room if they throw a tantrum. Once they realized that a tantrum was never EVER rewarded with attention, much less what they were throwing the tantrum for, they stopped throwing them. No my life and children are not perfect, but neither do they run my home or my life. I am the adult, I make the rules. I involve my children in the running of the household because they are part of the household. They respect me, they respect their belongings by keeping their toys put away and in good condition, they respect themselves by keeping themselves clean and presentable in public with hands and faces watched, fully dressed for the day, every day. If they get messy while eating they change their clothes. It will take a lot of work on your part to change the behavior of what you have allowed your children to become into the behavior of two young ladies which you would like them to become. It will take discipline to slow them to throw their fits over and over while you walk away and not reward this behavior with attention or what they are crying for. You were able to let them “cry it out” as babies learning to sleep in their own bed at nights, you will have to do the same thing now. even when they are are shreiking at the top of their little lungs. You are the adult you have the control you can turn the “monsters” you have created into tiny human beings with manners, respect for others, respect for themselves…

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30 comments
Elizabeth Chapman
Elizabeth Chapman

I am so disgusted with individuals who feel they should criticize other parents. Everyone has their own way of parenting. They find what works for them and go with it. The things you do for your children are the things they will remember when they grow up. All the little extras full of love! Why do people even feel the need to read your blog or comment? They are so full of negativity, and it seems they just want to validate their parenting skills. Reading the negative comments from some of your followers just makes my blood boil. Why not just stop following you? Their comments just prove that they are self conscious in their parenting and feel that by putting you down, everyone will think they are perfect parents. I read your blog and laugh my ass off. Your family and my family would make great friends. We are on the same page of parenting. When it comes to being married and having kids ....everyone is different. My grandma always told me to f*ck what everyone else thinks. You find what works and you do it. Life is short. Don't fight everything stupid little thing that comes your way. Your kids will only be young once. If your daughter likes pancakes in bed....let her be a princess. All good things come to an end. At least she will know she has a daddy that went that extra messy mile for her! You need to start deleting all the negative individuals from your blog. Keep on being the daddy you are.

Julie Martland
Julie Martland

Oh dear lord, what a pompous twit. (shakes head sadly)

Samantha Taylor Hall
Samantha Taylor Hall

Choices, choices. Happy, expressive, creative (and maybe disorganized) kids or prissy robot kids? Personally, I'd leave my kids with you before i let that woman any where near them.

Gillian Stover
Gillian Stover

Yawn....where's the holy water, I'm in the presence of a god....(yeah, I'm going to hell but all my best friends will be there...)

Beth Linkous Rodney
Beth Linkous Rodney

Wow!!!! Really never in a million years would I leave my 20 month old alone awake while I take a shower. I just love how everyone is an expert on parenting when in fact no one is perfect we all have our own ways to do things and we really shouldn't judge other people if they do not do it the same way. Just because you run your house like marine boot camp does not mean that children will turn out well rounded adults. Just like if you run your home like Pee Wees play house your kids will not all be disrespectful, and lazy adults. To each their own and she really needs a hobby or write a tell all book since she has so much time on her hands. Better yet come and clean my house for me since its so easy to get done.

Sanne de Greef
Sanne de Greef

Her kids should join the army for a much needed break. Poor things!

Stacey Burris
Stacey Burris

Ok. Is she for hire?? Cuz I need these skills at my house. ..

Ashley Roberts
Ashley Roberts

Haha, this girl is crazy. When her children grow up, move out and never look back. I hope she looks back on this. And realizes how shitty she was to her kids. Let kids be kids. Let them run free, get messy and scream and cry.

Margaret King
Margaret King

One toy out at a time!? Clean dishes, segmented snack times...does that drill sergeant have time to make memories with her kids!? We have played in the mud, washed off with the hose, caught lightening bugs, laid on the grass and saw cloud figures or watched the stars at night. So what if the house was messy and toys strewn around, we had fun! My kid loves me, my grandkids love me. They are only little for a short while. Enjoy them while you can.

Perry Mason
Perry Mason

Wow! First thing popped in my head was bitch much or just bitch. She's "supermom" yah her. I couldn't even finish reading the whole thing. I get sick of all the "I can do it so you have to do it too" comments and stories. I enjoy knowing that there are other "real parents" out there. I have a 17 yo rapid cycling bipolar child, I myself am bipolar. Throw a 4 yo in the mix and we are one colorful house. We may be messy with life but we are living life. I enjoy seeing your little ditties come up in my feed they bring a smile and add a sparkle to my day!

Debbi Smith-Moore
Debbi Smith-Moore

Wow. I would hate to be a child in THAT house! No freedom of expression. No freedom to be a child. Only structure and rules and schedules. I wouldn't want that for MY life, and I'm a grown-up! If that's how that person really feels, they should just send their poor kids to military school and be done... I'm all for teaching appropriate behavior, but where is the ability to just play in the dirt? How about the opportunity to watch a butterfly come out of its cocoon? Or knowing the wonder of watching a bee collecting nectar? Shall we forget that kids also learn by trial and error? To not give them opportunities to make mistakes means that you also take away the ability to learn from them. And for crying in a bucket, they're KIDS! Some of the most fascinating conversations I have all day are with my little ones. I love to hear what they say because it is often amusing, always interesting, and a peek into what is going on in their beautiful little heads. Taking away their freedom to learn as THEY needs to learn is a huge disservice to them. Structuring their days like this poster advocates only serves to take away their ability to make their own decisions and cripples them. Possibly for life.

Emily Daniels
Emily Daniels

Well, I better hurry and change my whole life around to better suit this lady. Give me a frackin' break. Parenting is trial and error, and no one is raising perfect beings. My kids are great in school, and have chores, but life with a toddler, let alone two, is nuts. Anyone who says otherwise is full of shit.

Tracy M. Dennison
Tracy M. Dennison

That doesn't sound like life, sounds like kiddy bootcamp... Glad it works for her, but it would never work here.

Cristal Cloud
Cristal Cloud

TLDR just do whatever you feel is right. If your kids turn out well, then you can enjoy truly spoiling cute as a button grandkids. If they don't, you can enjoy them in your basement until you get tired of them.

Haley Patton
Haley Patton

Angel, you are an idiot. Ever heard of letting kids be kids?! That schedule, while lovely in theory, is actually quite ridiculous.

Natalie Benjamin Campbell
Natalie Benjamin Campbell

hahahahahahahahahahahaha...I stopped reading when she started listing all the times that things should happen. It's not even worth finishing!! From what I did read...I can say that I NEVER make my bed...and I ALWAYS sit in front of the TV or Computer and eat...and so does the rest of my family. We never eat together when we're at home!! And guess what?? I have awesome, well behaved, happy and loved teenage/adult children!! These people that think they know so much and things should only be done the way they think is right, really crack me up!!!

Bethany Hogan-Zawislak
Bethany Hogan-Zawislak

Wow, this person knows so much about raising EVERYONE'S kids!! I'd like to see her take her fancy schedule and take on my two special needs boys... Lady, if you don't like it, don't read it. Oh, and where in your schedule did you manage to write this rediculous rant?

Italia Gray
Italia Gray

Did not take my time to read that whole thing cause "Ain't nobody got time for that". You're an amazing dad and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. (=

Terri Jameson March
Terri Jameson March

Clearly this person has no children. Either that or they keep their kids chained to a wall or locked in cages. SMH!

Jessica DeVorse
Jessica DeVorse

While he has some good ideas I.e. involving the kids in cooking/cleaning, I think it's good that her advice works .....FOR HER! It does not mean it works for everyone. You need too find what works for you and stick with it

Loris Ayoub
Loris Ayoub

It is a hard comment,but I think why not taking the positive of it,like having a routine or, keeping your kids clean,my 4 year old changes 4-5 times a day, even a drop of water will make her change her clothes, or letting them help you with chores,mine don't but I might try it...

Tara Bowlin
Tara Bowlin

Whoa those poor children. Wow can we say control issues. Your kids aren't monsters. I find the antics she detests so bad quite cute funny and we'll they are going to remember fondly.you letting them eat chicken on your head where this woman's children are just going to remember military camp. I want my kids happy and feeling loved. What a miserable human being poor kids are in a prison camp run by mommy dearest herself. Oh and I personally can't stand a made bed, so awesome you rock and your wife and kids are great. She's just jealous cause her kids probably hate her while it's obvious your kids love you to pieces. Keep up the good work.

Lena Greco
Lena Greco

By the time she started with the MAKE bed and get DRESSED.... I couldn't read it anymore. Is this lady a fuckin nut job or what. I bet her kids salute her before bed. She can't possibly be married...the control freak she is I bet she demands her husbands dick to get hard and I only read approximately..12 lines of her horseshit.

Synnøve Robinson
Synnøve Robinson

I want what that nutter is smokin'. Sounds like one heck of a trip.

Rachel Niehaus
Rachel Niehaus

Wow looks like she's the only parent on earth that knows exactly how to raise children! I am a parent of 4 ages 7-2 and have come to realize that you have to do what works for you and your family! Parenting is not as cut and dried as she seems to think! Also wonder where she found the time to write such a long email on such strict schedule! ;)

Mande Kay Sumner
Mande Kay Sumner

That person's children HATE them! There is plenty of time for rules and regiments. Whatever happened to kids being kids?! And can this person not recognize humor..like AT ALL. What a clown....no that's not right clowns are funny. This person is an idiotic control freak whose children will rebel the first chance they get. SMH.

Madison Sullivan
Madison Sullivan

You my friend are a complete fucking idiot and I bet you're kids hate you're guts .. that is if you even have any .. I would like to meet you and pee on you're shoes lmao

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